DTF? LTR?: How the LGBTQIA+ Community Can Successfully Navigate Online Dating

By Kevin

Online dating can be a great way for queer youth to connect with others who share their interests and values. However, online dating poses several risks toward queer youth, specifically in terms of physical and mental wellbeing. Here are some tips to help you stay safe while dating online:

IT'S ALWAYS OKAY TO SAY NO, AND IT’S EQUALLY OKAY TO GTFO

Trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Don't hesitate to end a conversation or block someone if you feel uncomfortable.

GET A FEEL FOR EM’ BEFORE YOU FEEL THEM

Get to know someone before meeting in person. What are they looking to do with you if you were to connect? Be inquisitive, it is never inappropriate or unsexy to simply ask what someone is looking for in meeting you. This can help you get a sense of their character and whether they're someone you want to meet in person. Also, if they take your inquiry as off-putting, that might be a red flag in itself. (See: Red Flags: The Signs)

EVEN IF YOU AREN’T OUT, YOU SHOULD TRY TO MEET THEM OUT IN PUBLIC

Especially for those of us who aren’t sure of our sexuality, or are not ready to come out, it is difficult to meet someone in public. Research shows that the majority of sexual assaults occur in private settings, such as homes or hotel rooms, where the victim is isolated and vulnerable (Journal of Interpersonal Violence). So in meeting someone in a public space, you are less likely to be a victim of sexual or relational violence compared to those who go straight to someone’s home. In meeting in public before going to their home, you also have more time to get a “Feel For Em”, as discussed prior.

TELL A FRIEND: “HEY SIS, I AM GOING TO 1234 MAPLE DR TO MEET SOMEONE FOR A HOOKUP.”

Share your plans with someone you trust. Let a friend or family member know where you'll be and who you'll be with. A great way to ensure safety is to even arrange to check in with them during the date.

Remember, you have the right to feel safe and respected in any dating situation. Don't hesitate to reach out for help if you ever feel threatened or unsafe. You deserve to be in a healthy and positive relationship, and with these tips, you can make sure you're taking the necessary steps to protect yourself.